I haven’t written a blogpost in a while because like Gulliver, in Jacob A. Pfeiffer’s trompe l’oiel painting above, I’ve been in a bind.
- Being in a bind, isn’t a comfortable place.
My bind wasn’t because of smaller people having tied me down — rather it was because I couldn’t grab hold of an idea worthy of tying down. Or, perhaps, more precisely, because I had a number of ideas, none of which felt good enough to commit to writing.
For a while I worked on a blog about the impact of legislation and the legal system on Covenant marriages, and throuples and polyamorous relationships, but after a few attempts I didn’t feel like my thoughts added enough to share. So…. I took a break.
I read some wonderful books, vacationed on two South Carolina islands, one where we were hosted by friends (thank you Jan and Etta), and another where we met old friends for a reunion. We ate fantastic food, laughed out loud a lot, walked on beautiful beaches, usually with a dog in tow, and went to a terrific art gallery (see Gulliver’s Travels above, which was then on exhibit at the Robert Lange Gallery and is now happily living in a collector’s home).
After some time away I got my bearings, and I began writing a book that will hopefully provide inspiration to people and their restructuring families, as well as to professionals and friends wanting to provide support.
All of which brings me back to that feeling of being immobilized and wanting release, sort a small-scale version of Gulliver’s having been tied down by the Lilliputians. It’s a feeling familiar to many people wanting to make a change and often accompanies those leaving a marriage.
- What are some strategies you use to help ourselves move forward when you’re feeling stuck?
My Consilium co-founder, Judge Julie Field (ret.) made some terrific suggestions in our most recent Bold Threads newsletter, where she observed that divorce is like any commitment that matters- forethought results in better outcomes.
- Recognize the promise you’re making to yourself and your future.
- Gather wise, caring advisors who can help you navigate the road ahead, and
- Show up for yourself and your family every day — especially when things feel tough.
At the Consilium Institute, we know people don’t often plan their post-divorce life the way they planned their wedding — but they should.
- And with Consilium Practitioners — your “council of wise advisors” — they can and will.
Consilium Practitioners are trusted lawyers, judges, financial experts, and therapists, who are here to help you build a future that feels hopeful and whole.
